Purging the planet

Whilst wandering around in the spring sunshine yesterday afternoon, two women cross my path. Spiky, chemical hair, striking specs and dayglo jackets – not the usual Swiss rambler.

They ask this ancient, dishevelled rustic the names of some of the mountains around us. Shamefully, I have to pass on most of them. Their tongue betrays them as Germans from the north. It turns out that they are from Hamburg.

Apropos the current plague, they mention that they regard the Reaper's scythe that seems to be swishing through humanity at the moment as a great blessing. Unprompted, they tell me that it will give the Earth a breathing space to recover from all the damage it has suffered – presumably by the human pestilence that so pollutes it, although they didn't say that in those words.

Well, that's Hamburg for you, I think to myself, the greenest, reddest city in Germany.

I lack the civil courage to contest this outrageous opinion – I am expected back and time is anyway short at my age when the scythe could swish any day.

I stay politely unengaged and so refrain from asking them whether they have considered sacrificing themselves to the noble goal – there is a crag only a few minutes away which would do the job perfectly.

At least the National Socialist race theorists restricted their cleansing goal to 'Jews'. The Communist monsters preferred to scrape in great numbers the useless Lumpenproletariat off their boots. Now the red-green, climate-deranged mind knows no restriction other than 'humans' – or, more precisely, 'other humans'.

They tell me that they shouldn't be here on this Swiss hillside at all: they are trapped in Switzerland by closed borders. On this day they should actually be on a beach in Barbados. Really? Yes! they say.

We go our ways. There's nowt so queer as folk.