Il Hobbit in Romontsch Sursilvan

Last year saw the publication of a translation of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit into Romontsch (Sursilvan idiom) by a young man called Not Soliva. For the avoidance of all confusion, 'Not' is the Romontsch equivalent of the German forename 'Otto', not the designation of an antimatter Doppelgänger. That's one problem solved, but we have a few others to cope with.

You might be thinking that the text of what is nominally a book for children should be a breeze to translate. Well, it isn't. I could write an essay on just why this is, but instead let's look in detail at some of the difficulties the book presents to the translator – and to the reader for that matter. We'll start with particular practical issues in the text and then keep the generalisations for later.

If you want to stop reading now and save whatever time on Earth you have left for more important matters, the takeaway is that signur Soliva has done a very creditable job with this tricky text. He is to be especially commended for taking the hard but virtuous path of using the English original as the basis for his translation and not any of the German translations.

For our analysis let's just skip about a bit in Chapter 12, 'Inside Information'.

We'll keep in front of us Tolkien's English text from my battered 1966 paperback, signur Soliva's Sursilvan translation and, as though we don't have enough on our plates already, Wolfgang Krege's 1998 effort in German for Klett-Cotta. Herr Krege's translation, despite some of its oddities, has become the standard Hobbit text in German.

I have given a very literal and clunky translation back into English after each of the Romontsch and German text passages. The Romontsch text is written throughout in the simple present (more accurately the 'historic present') with very occasional forays into a past tense when some previous event is being described. In order to create a readable English translation I have transposed the narrative into the past, as it is in the original.

I'm not going to look at every line in this section – for that you'll have to read the book – just places where Tolkien's use of English has given the translators something to think about or is for some other reason worthy of mention.

I chose to use this section from Chapter 12 more or less at random, although it does represent one of the high points in the narrative.

It describes Bilbo's two encounters with the fearful dragon Smaug in his lair in the innards of the Lonely Mountain. Bilbo and his companions, thirteen Dwarves, have located the hidden passageway that leads from the western flank of the mountain to Smaug's lair, where the dragon snoozes coiled on top of his treasure hoard. Here is the scene as drawn by Tolkien himself:

On his first visit, undetected by Smaug, Bilbo stole a large two-handled cup from Smaug's hoard to take back and show his companions. Shortly thereafter, Smaug noticed that the cup was missing and went on the rampage around the mountain looking for the thief or thieves. Now that Smaug's immediate rage has subsided, Bilbo makes his way down the secret passage once more. He puts the ring that makes him invisible on his finger and steps into the dragon's lair, where Smaug appears to be sleeping. But though he cannot see him, Smaug becomes aware of Bilbo's presence.

Exhibit 1: sleeping Smaug

'Old Smaug is weary and asleep,' he thought. 'He can't see me and he won't hear me. Cheer up Bilbo!' He had forgotten or had never heard about dragons’ sense of smell. It is also an awkward fact that they can keep half an eye open watching while they sleep, if they are suspicious.

• To get to the drama of the story the reader has first to get past one of Tolkien's characteristic asides to the reader. After relating Bilbo's thoughts, Tolkien turns aside as it were to address the reading child directly with some twee remarks about dragons. The remarks are superfluous, since the factors prefigured here are clear in the narrative.
• The precision of 'forgotten or had never heard about' is just fussy.
• The phrase 'awkward fact' is an example of Tolkien's frequent use of understatement.
• Tolkien's use of the idiomatic 'half an eye open', which is still used in contemporary English, is a trap for translators. Replacing it with a phrase such as 'one eye open' does not fit the later description of Smaug's eye(s), open like slits.

«Nies vegl Smaug ei spussaus e sedurmentaus», patratga el. «Ed el vesa ed auda buca mei. Hagies forza, Bilbo!» U ch’el ha emblidau ni ch’el ha mai udiu che drags fredan era bein. E malaveta ston ins era saver ch’els san tener aviert in egl malfidont duront ch’els dorman.

['Our old Smaug is tired and sleepy' he thought. 'And he cannot see or hear me. Have strength, Bilbo!' Either he had forgotten or had never heard that dragons also have a very good sense of smell. And one must also know that unfortunately they keep a suspicious eye open while they sleep.]

• malaveta, 'unfortunately', resolves the understated 'awkward fact' but sacrifices the donnish tone of the original.
• Tener aviert in egl, 'keep an eye open', is used instead of the idiomatic 'half an eye' in the original. This matters, since we are told a few lines later that Bilbo caught a 'sudden thin and piercing ray of red from under the drooping lid of Smaug’s left eye' – that is, the eye is not fully open.
• Furthermore, here the eye itself is suspicious, malfidont, which is not what the original says: 'if they (i.e. dragons) are suspicious'.

»Der alte Herr ist müde und schläft«, dachte er. »Sehen kann er mich nicht und hören auch nicht, also keine Sorge, Bilbo!« Er hatte vergessen oder vielleicht nie gehört, was Drachen für einen Geruchssinn haben. Außerdem bleibt es eine leidige Tatsache, dass sie im Schlaf ein wachsames halbes Auge offenhalten können, wenn sie misstrauisch sind.

['The old chap is tired and sleeping', he thought. 'He cannot see me nor hear me, so don't worry, Bilbo!' He had forgotten or perhaps never heard what a good sense of smell dragons have. Furthermore, it is an unpleasant fact that they can keep a wakeful half-eye open if they are suspicious.]

• A good solution to the 'half an eye open' idiom in the original.

Exhibit 2: Bilbo's presence detected

When Bilbo peeps into the dragon's lair from the entrance tunnel Smaug immediately senses his presence.

‘Well, thief! I smell you and I feel your air. I hear your breath. Come along! Help yourself again, there is plenty and to spare!’

• 'plenty and to spare'. Modern English leaves out the 'and'.

«Pia, ti lader! Jeu fredel tei, sentel ed audel tiu flad. Mo neu vi cheu! Pren tgei che ti vul, ei ha gie pli ch’avunda!»

['So, you thief! I smell you, sense and hear your breath. Just come over here! Take what you want, there is indeed more than enough!']

• Tolkien's odd phrase 'I feel your air' has seemingly caused the translator some head scratching. He gets around this by applying [jeu] sentel, 'sense', to flad, 'breath': 'sense and hear your breath', which is, if anything, more incomprehensible than Tolkien's original. It is important to state clearly these three sensory talents of the dragon, since they counterbalance the great advantage Bilbo has of invisibility. They thus level up the playing field in this combat of wills, making the encounter much more perilous for the Hobbit. If Bilbo could have remained completely undetected there would be no tension in the encounter and no dialogue.
• 'Again' in the original has been left out, although it is quite important in establishing that this is the second meeting of Bilbo and Smaug.

»Sei gegrüßt, Dieb! Ich kann dich riechen. Ich kann deinen Luftzug spüren. Ich kann deinen Atem hören. Tritt nur näher! Bediene dich abermals, es ist noch genug da!«

['Greetings, thief! I can smell you. I can sense your draught. I can hear your breathing. Step nearer! Help yourself again, there is still enough there!']

• Herr Krege often cannot resist 'improving' the original in some way. In this case his substitution of 'greetings' for the neutral 'well' is impermissable, since there is no sense in which Smaug greets or welcomes the Hobbit burglar.
• 'Ich kann deinen Luftzug spüren' is a good resolution of Tolkien's tricky 'feel your air'.
• Unlike signur Soliva, he retains 'again' in the form of abermals.

Exhibit 3: Professor Tolkien explains

There follows a page of dialogue between Bilbo and Smaug. Most of it presents no problem for the translator, apart from the need to find equivalents for the Anglo-Saxon style descriptive names given to principals and even inanimate objects in heroic tales. Bilbo's inventions are mockeries of the dragon designed to flatter his vanity – 'Smaug the Tremendous', 'Smaug the Chiefest and Greatest of Calamities', 'Lord Smaug the Impenetrable' – so the translator has a free hand in coming up with some equivalent and both translators cope well with this challenge.

Then the dialogue is interrupted by another lengthy aside by Tolkien to his child reader:

This of course is the way to talk to dragons, if you don’t want to reveal your proper name (which is wise), and don’t want to infuriate them by a flat refusal (which is also very wise). No dragon can resist the fascination of riddling talk and of wasting time trying to understand it. There was a lot here which Smaug did not understand at all (though I expect you do, since you know all about Bilbo’s adventures to which he was referring), but he thought he understood enough, and he chuckled in his wicked inside.

Professor Tolkien's homily on the art of speaking to dragons is not without humour but only serves to interrupt the action at this critical moment.

Exhibit 4: Sowing seeds of doubt

Smaug's weapons are not just his claws, his jaws, his armoured tail or his fiery breath, he is also a master of persuasion (perhaps we would call this 'gaslighting' nowadays). He displays a strange combination of utterly brutal, mindless violence with a sharp and insightful intellect, all in the service of his dominant trait, endless greed. Every piece of treasure which he has acquired, down to the smallest coin, is remembered and guarded.

Tolkien had been writing The Hobbit alongside his professional work on Beowulf and both came to fruition in 1936. The hero Beowulf's final challenge, after the slaying of the monster Grendel and its dreadful mother, pits him against a dragon (OE draca, 'drake' or sometimes fyrdraca, 'firedrake', also very often a wyrm, 'worm') whose lair guards a treasure hoard in a 'high barrow' above the moor.

The bard of Beowulf was not interested in that dragon's intellectual skills – the final battle, in which both dragon and Beowulf are killed, is mainly fire-breathing and sword and dagger work.

Let's also note, whilst we are on the subject, another borrowing from Beowulf. In the Old English poem, a fleeing miscreant finds a way into the barrow guarded by the dragon and steals a cup from the dragon-hoard, causing the enraged dragon to wreak much damage on the locality. Bilbo also steals a cup from Smaug's dragon-hoard, which also provokes the rage of the dragon.

There is a further, important parallel. Whilst Bilbo goes down the narrow and dark tunnel to his confrontation with Smaug, his companions, the Dwarves, prefer to keep their distance by the door at its outer end. Even Balin, the Dwarf most attached to Bilbo, accompanies him in the tunnel only as far as the light of the entrance is still visible. Beowulf is similarly abandoned by his hand-picked troop to face his dragon alone, with the exception of one faithful comrade, who fights alongside him until the end. Perhaps Smaug senses this, deduced from the fact that his thirteen Dwarf companions are not alongside him in his hour of peril, when he suggests to Bilbo that he should not put his trust in Dwarves.

But Tolkien perpetuated the figure of the great persuader in some of the characters in LOTR. We think of Saruman/Sharkey and his servant Gríma Wormtongue. Some Tolkien scholars assert that the figure of Gríma is derived from the unfaithful servant Unferth in Beowulf. Perhaps, somewhat. But a much stronger archetype is Smaug, the dragon, the worm, who weakens, at least for a while, Bilbo's resolve and self-confidence. The clue being in Gríma's attribute name Wormtongue, 'dragon-tongue' (which can also be read less convincingly as 'snake-tongue'). Just like Smaug, Gríma Wormtongue has the 'overwhelming personality' that can make the hearer believe that he ought to take off the invisibility ring and join the misunderstood dragon for a nice cup of tea.

The seeds of doubt about the Dwarves that Smaug sows in Bilbo's mind are an extremely important factor in the Bildungsroman which hides in plain sight behind the adventure story in The Hobbit. Starting out as a pooterish, petit bourgeois, risk-averse fusspot, on his journey Bilbo passes through a number of transformational moments that are steps on the way to his emergence as an unlikely hero figure by the end of the tale. One such moment is the present one, where he starts to distance himself from the Dwarves' treasure-crazed project. Note that Bilbo's 'worried and uncomfortable' state when he returns to the Dwarves is never explicitly resolved – that resolution comes much later. Great storytelling relies on things unsaid and only implied in the situation. Imagine, for example, Bilbo's state of mind when, scorched and distraught after his near disaster with Smaug, he is being pestered by the Dwarves, desperate for news.

Now a nasty suspicion began to grow in his mind –had the Dwarves forgotten this important point too, or were they laughing in their sleeves at him all the time? That is the effect that dragon-talk has on the inexperienced. Bilbo of course ought to have been on his guard; but Smaug had rather an overwhelming personality.

• A 'nasty suspicion' has been for a long time a casual cliché in English. It is important for the translator to recognise these for what they are and certainly not to take them literally.
• 'rather an overwhelming personality': another example of Tolkien's donnish, rather camp style of understatement.

In patratg suspect e tarladiu sederasa en siu tgau – han ils Nanins pomai era emblidau quella part dil plan, ni han els schizun ris ora el davos siu dies? Quei ei l’influenza ch’ils plaids dil drag han sin il patertgar da glieud naiva senza experientscha. Bilbo havess secapescha stuiu esser pli precauts, mo Smaug damogna da manipular el.

[A thought suspicious and repellent spread in his head – had the Dwarves really forgotten that part of the plan, or were they even laughing at him behind his back? That is the influence that the words of the dragon have on the thinking of naive people without experience. Bilbo certainly ought to have been more careful, but Smaug managed to manipulate him.]

• The idiomatic oddity of the original, 'a nasty suspicion', led signur Soliva into an unnecessary and syntactically odd tangle. It is praisworthy that, in taking the old cliché literally he did his best to get the two words of 'nasty suspicion' in somehow, but the result is very strange. If I have read the text correctly, the thought itself (patratg, noun) becomes suspicious (suspect, adjective), then amplified unnecessarily by the extremely strong adjective tarladiu, 'disgusting, repellent, hateful' etc. representing 'nasty'. In the original, 'nasty' is just a worn-out word in a cliché. An equivalent cliché is available in Sursilvan, though a little dated: in nausch smin, in German 'ein böser Verdacht'.
• He coped well, however, with transforming that other old cliché 'laughing in their sleeves' accurately into 'laughing behind his back'…
• … only to crash into Tolkien's donnish observation concerning 'the effect that dragon-talk has on the inexperienced', transforming the original nine words into a 17-word monster: Quei ei l’influenza ch’ils plaids dil drag han sin il patertgar da glieud naiva senza experientscha. 'Dragon-talk' has an effect, not an influence – the two are not the same; the translator then adds in the gratuitous expansion 'the thinking of naive people without experience.' I don't know what ten-year-olds will make of that.
  Tolkien just grasps the English noun 'the inexperienced' and declines to supplement it with a qualifying phrase such as 'in the ways of dragons'. By doing this he turns it into a little joke that equates the ways of dragons with, say, the operation of washing machines or the baking of lemon drizzle cakes. You have to get up very early to keep up with the subtle skills of the Rawlinson and Bosworth Professor of Anglo-Saxon at Oxford.
  I can sympathise with signur Soliva's struggle here, since search as I might I haven't been able to find a Romontsch noun in any idiom that corresponds to 'the inexperienced' or a suitable past participle that can be substantivised. Senza experienza/experientscha needs to reference a noun, in this case glieud, 'people', which brings me back to signur Soliva's solution. The adjective naiva is not in the original and just duplicates the sense of senza experientscha – away with it!
• Smaug … damogna da manipular el, 'Smaug managed to manipulate him', is not in the original. It is the translator's deduction from the original, slightly camp phrase 'rather an overwhelming personality'. Does this matter? I'm afraid it does, because the donnish, understated tone of the original, which is such a fixed part of Tolkien's humour is transformed into modern psychobabble. It is also very misleading, because Bilbo is not 'manipulated' but rather his understanding of his situation is deepened by his reflection on the dragon's words.

Ein böser Verdacht wollte nun in ihm aufkommen: Hatten die Zwerge diese in der Tat wichtige Frage auch einfach übersehen, oder lachten sie sich über ihn schon die ganze Zeit ins Fäustchen? So können Drachenworte auf den Unerfahrenen einwirken! Bilbo hätte auf der Hut sein sollen, gewiss – aber Smaug war auch eine Persönlichkeit von bezwingender Kraft.

[A nasty suspicion wanted to grow in him: Had the Dwarves simply overlooked this certainly important question, or had they been laughing at him the entire time behind his back? Dragon-words can affect the inexperienced like that! Bilbo should have been more on his guard, certainly, but Smaug was also a forceful personality.]

• Nailed it in one!

Exhibit 5: Fleeing the dragon

For the next and mercifully final exhibit, we shall skip the rest of Bilbo's dialogue with Smaug and pick up at the moment of Bilbo's hasty exit through the narrow tunnel leading from the dragon's lair. In taking leave of Smaug Bilbo foolishly could not resist goading him. Enraged, the dragon belched fire into Bilbo's escape tunnel, giving the hobbit some painful burns.

The afternoon was turning into evening when he came out [of the tunnel] again and stumbled and fell in a faint on the 'doorstep'. The Dwarves revived him, and doctored his scorches as well as they could; but it was a long time before the hair on the back of his head and his heels grew properly again: it had all been singed and frizzled right down to the skin. In the meanwhile his friends did their best to cheer him up; and they were eager for his story, especially wanting to know why the dragon had made such an awful noise, and how Bilbo had escaped.

But the hobbit was worried and uncomfortable, and they had difficulty in getting anything out of him. On thinking things over he was now regretting some of the things he had said to the dragon, and was not eager to repeat them. The old thrush was sitting on a rock near by with his head cocked on one side, listening to all that was said.

• 'Scorches' is an unexpected but still appropriate word. The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as 'A mark or impression produced by scorching; a superficial burn. Also figurative.' The modern person would recall the last time they left an iron on a favourite item of clothing for too long. It is certainly a more interesting word to use than the generic 'burn'.
• Reading the word 'singed', a modern person thinks of burnt hair, very appropriate in the case of our hairy hobbit. The OED concurs: 'Of persons, etc.: To burn (something) superficially or lightly, to burn the ends or edges of (hair, wings, etc.); esp. to subject (the carcass of a pig, fowl, or other animal) to flame or fire in order to remove the bristles or hair.'
• The word 'frizzle(d)' has fallen almost completely out of use. Modern speakers would pick up on the first part of it and think of frizz(y), 'hair with small, tight curls' etc. Fortunately the Oxford English Dictionary is here to help us out. Tolkien, the philologist, with this hairy hobbit in his mind, extends 'frizz' (hair) via 'frizz' ('to make a sputtering noise in frying') into the verb 'frizzle', which has both meanings (to fry, toast, or grill - with a sputtering noise [analogously to 'sizzle']) and 'to curl (hair) in small crisp curls'. Le mot juste, indeed.
  As already noted, you have to get up early in the morning to keep up with Professor Tolkien, whose first job after the First World War was at the Oxford English Dictionary, specialising in the etymology of words of Germanic origin.

II suentermiezdi s’enclina viers la sera cura ch’el vegn viadora e croda senza schientscha per tiara sin 'sava'. Ils Nanins cloman el puspei en veta e sesprovan da medegar sias plagas. Ei vegn denton aunc a cuzzar ditg, entochen che la pelegna sin sia totona ed entuorn ses calcogns vegni puspei a crescher: quella ei vegnida arsentada naven tochen giu tier la pial. Ses amitgs fan emprovas da motivar el ed els vulan udir siu rapport per saver, tgei che ha muentau il drag da far tanientas caneras e co Bilbo ha saviu sespindrar.

Mo el ei tementaus e maldisposts, aschia ch’ei va vess da far tschintschar el. El lai repassar ses plaids e seturpegia per part per quei ch’el ha tradiu al drag. Perquei ha el buca queidas da raquintar da sia paterlada cun Smaug. II vegl tuorsch sesa sin in grep dasperas, tegn uiersch il tgau e teidla prudentamein mintga plaid.

[The afternoon inclined towards evening when he came out and fell senseless on to the ground by the 'doorstep'. The Dwarves revived him and attempted to heal his wounds. It will be a long time before the hair on the back of his neck and around his heels will grow again. That had been burned down to the skin. His friends attempted to motivate him and they wanted to hear his report to know what had caused the dragon to make such a terrible noise and how Bilbo was able to save himself. But he was frightened and unwell, so that it was difficult to converse with him. He went over what he had said and was ashamed of the part which he had betrayed to the dragon. Thus he had no desire to retail his conversation with Smaug. The old thrush sat on a rock nearby, holding his head tilted and listening prudently to each word.]

• Sesprovan, 'attempt', is a poor substitute for the original 'as well as they could'. Medegar, 'heal' is not quite right but I can think of no better word for 'doctored'.
• Plagas, generic 'wounds' misses the precision of 'scorches'.
• I understand totona to be the back of the neck, but the original is quite specific about the 'back of his head'.
• Vegnida arsentada, 'was burned', is not wrong, but loses the delightful terms in the original 'singed and frizzled'.
• motivar el is a very weak rendering of 'cheer him up'.
• Tementaus, 'fearful', 'afraid' is too strong for the English 'worried'.
• Maldisposts, 'feel unwell, indisposed' is certainly not the right term for 'uncomfortable'.
• Seturpegia/turpegiar is a religious term for 'to feel shame'. English speakers might recall 'turpitude', 'base or shameful character, vileness, depravity, wickedness etc. – of which there is a lot about these days. Bilbo is not feeling shame, but regret.
• Tradiu, 'betrayed', 'revealed', is also too strong in this context and does not reflect the original: Bilbo 'was now regretting some of the things he had said to the dragon'
• Prudentamein, 'carefully', 'cleverly', 'prudently' does not occur in the original and there is no reason to include it.

Der Nachmittag neigte sich schon zum Abend hin, als er oben wieder ankam, über die »Türschwelle« stolperte und ohnmächtig umfiel. Die Zwerge brachten ihn wieder zu sich und kümmerten sich so gut sie konnten um seine Verbrennungen. Aber es dauerte lange, bis das Haar an seinem Hinterkopf und an den Fersen richtig nachgewachsen war: Es war bis auf die Haut versengt und verbrannt. Einstweilen gaben seine Freunde sich alle Mühe, ihn aufzumuntern. Sie waren neugierig, was er zu erzählen hatte, und wollten vor allem wissen, warum der Drache so einen fürchterlichen Krach gemacht hatte und wie Bilbo entkommen war.

Aber der Hobbit machte sich Sorgen und Vorwürfe, und es fiel ihnen schwer, etwas aus ihm herauszubekommen. Wenn er alles recht bedachte, fand er, dass er dem Drachen manche Dinge lieber nicht hätte sagen sollen, und er hatte wenig Lust, davon zu berichten. Die alte Drossel saß wieder nahebei auf einem Felsen, den Kopf auf die Seite gelegt, und hörte alles mit an, was sie redeten.

[The afternoon was already heading towards evening when he arrived again, stumbled over the 'doorstep' and fell down unconscious. The Dwarves brought him round and did as well as they could with his burns. But it [would] take a long time until the hair on the back of his head and on his heels grew properly again: it had been scorched and burned down to the skin. In the meantime his friends did their best to cheer him up. They were curious about what he had to tell and wanted to know, above all, why the dragon had made such a terrible noise and how Bilbo had escaped. But the Hobbit was worried and reproached himself and it was difficult for them to get anything out of him. When he thought things over clearly, he realised that it would have been better if he had not said certain things to the dragon and he had no desire to retail them. The old thrush was sitting nearby on a rock, its head tilted to the side, and listened to everything that was said.]

• über die »Türschwelle« stolperte: Here Herr Krege once more 'improves' the original by inventing Bilbo's stumble over the 'doorstep'. The doorstep, however, is not a doorstep that anyone would stumble over – it is flat: 'Bilbo found sitting on the doorstep lonesome and wearisome –there was not a doorstep, of course, really, but they used to call the little grassy space between the wall and the opening 'the doorstep' in fun [Bilbo fand es eintönig und ermüdend, so auf der Türschwelle zu sitzen – natürlich war da in Wirklichkeit keine Schwelle, aber so nannten sie das kleine grasige Fleckchen zwischen der Felswand und dem Öffnungsspalt]…
• kümmerten sich so gut sie konnten um seine Verbrennungen is a good translation; I was expecting verarzten, 'jmdn. rasch und notdürftig oder routinemäßig ärztlich betreuen, behandeln' which reflects well the original 'doctored (his scorches)'. I know of no equivalent for verarzten in Romontsch.
• machte sich Sorgen und Vorwürfe Another 'improvement' to the original. Bilbo may indeed be blaming himself for his errors in dealing with Smaug (= Vorwürfe), but the original is 'uncomfortable', so unbequem or unbehaglich would be better.

Well, that's enough to be going on with. The English accents Tolkien gives to certain characters, his portrayal of groups such as the Elves, Goblins and Trolls and the characteristics of their speech are all nightmares for translators, but let's leave that for another day.