British Republic Day

We republicans could not have planned it better. We should rename 20 May as 'Republic Day' in the soon to be renamed United Kingdom. Not since the union of the dim Louis XVI with the fluff-headed Marie-Antoinette of Austria – her brother Joseph had to travel to Paris specially in order to instruct them both into the mysteries of where babies came from and the manner of their production – has the final outcome of a pairing been in less doubt.

Queen Elizabeth has reigned for more than 75 65 years by being scrupulously indifferent to all political and social questions great and small. No event has been too great to have no opinion expressed about it: the entry into the Common Market and then fifty years later the exit from the EU: not a word. The Falklands War: silence. Migration: silence.

Her position so far above the fray has made it difficult for republicans to criticise her. As each of the many derangements in the royal family has come to light – the list is too long to repeat here – Britons could only repeat: 'Queen Elizabeth, yes – but must we have the rest of them?'

The meddler

This principle of political neutrality is beyond the comprehension of Charles, the extremely dim next in line of succession. He has made it clear that he is a passionate environmentalist, who listens carefully to whatever the likes of Greenpeace whisper not so discreetly into his ear.

Having tried secretively to meddle in government policy over the years, he cannot wait for the crown to rest on his head so that he can then meddle properly. There is a reason that, according to numerous polls, a majority of the people of Britain would prefer him to abdicate immediately in favour of William.

There can be no doubt that shortly after the detested Charles ascends the throne the monarchy in Britain will be prostrate, waiting for the coup de grâce. Meghan's presence will deliver it, perhaps even before King Charles III's time comes.

The global do-gooder

Harry, the royal alley-cat, now Duke of Sussex, dragged into the family an odd Californian actress he'd found. Those who thought that the now Duchess of Sussex would know her place, keep her mouth shut and help out with 'royal duties in support of The Queen' – opening hospital wards, launching ships and unveiling plaques and statues in Britain – were seriously mistaken.

We already suspected which of the two wore the trousers in the relationship. The dim Duke has married an older woman with much more savvy. Only two days after the wedding her dominance is confirmed: with astonishing presumption she lays out her manifesto on the Royal Family website. No supermarket opening here – hubby or the others can do that. She will be a Social Justice Warrior with a global reach. Her new title, wealth and status will be leveraged in the service of her agenda.

To see the startling innovation that this 'manifesto' represents we only need to cast our minds back to the marriage of Kate Middleton with Prince William. Since then, the Duchess of Cambridge has become extremely popular with the people, the couple has produced three charming children, she looks good and does the right thing in every situation. Above all she keeps her opinions to herself. She has done all this without needing to publish a manifesto on the day following her wedding.

Vox pop

Just as Charles has the environmental lobby whispering in his ear, so the Duchess has World Vision and the United Nations whispering in hers. Even the charitable donations made for the wedding have flowed towards projects run by World Vision and the UN.

Let's wait and see what her Muslim subjects think of her partisanship for an American Evangelical Christian organization.

Let's see what her Jewish subjects think of an organization that hates Israel and supports Hamas in word and deed.

Let's see whether she can avoid the taint of World Vision's trademark and fundamentally dishonest 'Sponsor a Child' scam.

Let's see what the British people think of her intimacy with that sink of corruption, the UN.

Her husband did his bit for servicemen – a calling that is above reproof – but let's see what the British people make of the strident feminism and social justice pursuits of the foreigner with a celebrity lifestyle – whose wedding alone cost them £40 million – when she starts jetting around the world doing good according to her lights.

Given her personal choice of a rabidly anti-Trump preacher at the wedding, let's see whether she can bring herself to stand in the same room as President Trump, should duty call.

Her aides are letting it be known to the media that she will transform the monarchy. That's true and the Royal Family should be in no doubt: they are merely a stepping stone that will sink under her passing.

Wonderful. Bring it on.

The new Jerusalem builded here

And what, you ask, will the end of the British monarchy bring? A written constitution, a bill of rights, a head of state with constitutionally very limited powers, a lower chamber with no more than 300 members, an upper chamber with no more than 50 members, the abolishment of the honours system and all titles – lots and lots of horrible things like that. That's enough to be going on with here.

Update 18.07.2018

When President Trump met the Queen on Friday 13 July many were surprised at the splendid isolation of Her Majesty, left all on her own to do the royal business with the most important visitor the United Kingdom had received since 2016.

For those with eyes to see, the emptiness of it all was striking – at one point the Queen's Equerry had to step in to play the cavalier (complete with neatly furled brolly in the heatwave) and escort Melania, who had been left to walk a lonely path behind the two greats: no other royal or royal consort was present to help out. Prince Philip, Prince Charles, Prince William, Prince Harry were all too busy doing other things (playing polo!) to meet the leader of the free world.

2016? Who was the important visitor in 2016? Barack 'back-of-the-queue' Obama, of course. Unlike the current president on his 'working visit', Barack and Michelle met the Queen and Prince Philip, dined with the Cambridges and Prince Harry, shook hands and air-kissed with all the immediate heirs to the throne. The snappers were in their element: 'Prince George in His Pajamas Shaking Hands with President Obama Is the Greatest Moment in U.S.-British History' gushed People magazine.

This desperately important strategic visit took place in April 2016, eight months before Obama's term was due to end and he would be president no more, unlike the visit of the lonely Donald 'front-of-the-queue' Trump, to whom the cold shoulder was administered in the middle of his first term with currently reasonable prospects of a second term.

Bad politics. Bad diplomacy. Bad form: let's hear no more about the purpose of the apolitical royal family being to perform the representational duties of the state – time to dock their pay.